The Wheels on the Bus Go Round

04 Oct

As requested, here’s a funny story about using public transportation. It’s funny now, but then it wasn’t!

As a bit of background, I use a city funded handicapped transport program to go to physical therapy. My appointments are at 2pm, so I always tell them I need to be there at 1:30 just in case. That makes my pickup time between 12:30 and 1. I live AT MOST 10 minutes from the hospital.

On this particular day, 1:30 rolls around and the bus had still not come. So I called. They took 10 minutes to get to the phone so now it’s 1:40.

Me: I’m trying to find out where my bus is.
Them: (laughing) No telling. Let’s see. Looks like it’ll be a half hour.
Me: I’m supposed to be at the hospital 10 minutes ago.
Them: Oh! Ok. It’ll be 30 minutes.

At 2:10 the bus pulls up. Now I’m REALLY 10 minutes late, but 40 minutes late according to my schedule.

Driver: Are you going to hospital East?
Me: No, The main hospital.
Driver: Ok, we have to drop off a lady at Lowe’s on the way.
Me: Lowe’s isn’t on the way, and I’m already 40 minutes late.
Driver: Well, she’s already an hour late.

This is the point where I should have gotten a clue and just bagged therapy for the day. But, I get on the bus. The lady on the bus already was pleasant and we chatted a bit when we both noticed we’re DOWNTOWN which is near neither Lowe’s OR the hospital.

Lady: Where are you going?
Driver: I’m taking a shortcut
At this point the driver launches into a 10 minute ramble about the roads and traffic and all manner of things. My spidey senses are tingling.

After awhile I notice we’re on the east side of town, where there is actually a Lowe’s. We pull in.

Lady: I’m supposed to be at the other Lowe’s (across town).
Driver: Oh. I’m in the wrong place.

We get back on the road. By this time it’s 2:35. My phone rings.

Therapist: Are you still on the bus?
Me: Yes. I have no idea where I am, and I have no idea when I might get there.
Therapist: You’ve gotten on the Crazy Bus I take it.

A few minutes later the driver turns into hospital EAST, which is COMPLETELY across town from the Main Hospital and where I told him in the beginning I was not going.

Driver: Which entrance do you need?
Me: The one across town.
Driver: Oh. I’m in the wrong place.

By this time the little old lady on the bus is looking like she thinks she’s been kidnapped or something. The driver again gets on a circuit of back roads, all of which are full of potholes. The little lady and I are bouncing around the bus like a couple of puppets, holding on for dear life. This short cut takes much longer than just using the main roads. Finally at 3:20 he pulls up at the main hospital and gets out in preparation to let me out.

Me (to the lady): I sincerely hope you manage to get to Lowe’s today
Lady: I’m just going to ask to go back home and pray I get there before spring.

I finally get up to therapy. In an awesome moment of irony a television in the background is playing a commercial that has “Crazy Train” as the music.

All in all I was on the bus an hour and 10 minutes to make a 10 minute trip. But what can I expect for $1.60? And no, they would not return my fare.


Posted by on October 4, 2013 in Random Life


Tags: , , ,

5 responses to “The Wheels on the Bus Go Round

  1. Nice piece of work

    October 4, 2013 at 12:53 am

    something about the image of you and the little old lady bouncing around like a couple of puppets set me off! The Crazy Bus – love it!!!!!


    • craftlyn

      October 4, 2013 at 1:02 am

      I told my therapist after that ride I’d need more than my usual therapy. I still wonder about that little lady. Every time that same driver shows up at my house, I look to see if she’s still on the bus…


  2. Kathryn Rubidoux

    October 4, 2013 at 1:12 am

    That sounds waaay too familiar, it got to the point where I could walk home from work faster than I could ride home by bus. I live 4 miles away from where I used to work.


    • craftlyn

      October 4, 2013 at 1:15 am

      One of the other therapy regulars did that one day. :O He lived only five minutes from the hospital. The man was without one of his legs and in a wheel chair. The bus took so long that he just got out on the road in his wheel chair and wheeled himself to the hospital!!!! Mind you, it’s necessary to cross a six lane highway to get to the hospital from his house, and there are no sidewalks.



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